Elle Bishop (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
not_myfirstday) wrote2008-04-28 09:45 pm
not_myfirstday) wrote2008-04-28 09:45 pm
[10Spot] 096 - Anger is Beauty
01. She's too young to know. Maybe even too young to understand what she's feeling, but it's there. There in the way her small fists clench tight at her sides. There in the narrowing of her gaze and the glaring look she shoots to the little girl running toward him. She can feel a heavy hand rest atop her head, patting her lightly but more simply to make sure that she's still there, right at his side. Twisting away from him she doesn't want to watch anymore, but she hates it just enough to keep watching. "Come on Elle... leave we'll see Mr. Bennet again later."
02. Her smile is closer to a wicked smirk than anything that would make them think she was happy to be there. They'd increased the visits to three times a week now, and we considering moving it to four, but they hadn't talked to her father yet. Instead they just watch her from a safe distance, behind the glass as she paces in their offices. "She can't hear us can she?" "God no... no she's just got the electricity." "Oh... did we up her lithium yet?" "Twice now... the only thing I can even think to recommend to calm her would just be to lock her up and keep her on an IV drip." "Could we do that?" "I'll talk to her father..."
03. "I'm disappointed in you Peter."
04. The moment the cold water hits her face she's more than aware of how stupid she was to allow herself to get caught. Her hands are bound to the arms of the chair and if she hadn't been so foolish, if she had planned more, or been more patient... maybe she wouldn't be in this position. Of course she's stuck now, and even worse she's wet and he keeps spraying her with the water. He's going to be sorry.
05. Lessons are hard to learn. Emotions make them even harder to remember, and maybe if she had taken a moment just to calm herself she wouldn't have just run all that energy through her own body. "Stings like a bitch doesn't it."
06. It's all coming at her at once, and maybe it's supposed to be like this but she's never understood quite how to deal with this sort of information. Should she believe it to be fact, or some twisted version of the truth? Maybe it's what her father wants her to hear... maybe it's some sort of a test. Maybe Noah was supposed to lie to her, tell her things that could never be true to see if her father could still trust her... still believe in her. But it still just feels... like the truth to her.
07. By now she's realizing her father might not be the best person for the job of raising her. Distant. Maybe that's the word she's looking for, but instead she's landed on distrusting. Distrusting and perhaps cold. Standing there listening to his words drop from his mouth to the paper he's staring at. He can't even speak to her, it's more just around her... in her presence.
08. She's taken the blame before. It gets a bit easier each time it gets pushed off onto her. She just never expected the outcome to be so drastic. For her to be told she can't prove herself better than what she's already done. That the sum of her mistakes has added up to something that can't be fixed. She can't handle not being able to fix it, to make it right for him. He should let her fix it.
09. She wishes she was a better daughter. A better daughter would have made him proud. She wouldn't have failed him, and she really wouldn't have made so many mistakes.
10. Deep down the lie hurts more than the truth that he left. Deep down the way he said one thing and ended up doing the opposite cuts into her and leaves a mark that not anyone would ever heal. Deep down the lie means that she can't excuse herself from hating him. Deep down the lie makes it all okay again.
02. Her smile is closer to a wicked smirk than anything that would make them think she was happy to be there. They'd increased the visits to three times a week now, and we considering moving it to four, but they hadn't talked to her father yet. Instead they just watch her from a safe distance, behind the glass as she paces in their offices. "She can't hear us can she?" "God no... no she's just got the electricity." "Oh... did we up her lithium yet?" "Twice now... the only thing I can even think to recommend to calm her would just be to lock her up and keep her on an IV drip." "Could we do that?" "I'll talk to her father..."
03. "I'm disappointed in you Peter."
04. The moment the cold water hits her face she's more than aware of how stupid she was to allow herself to get caught. Her hands are bound to the arms of the chair and if she hadn't been so foolish, if she had planned more, or been more patient... maybe she wouldn't be in this position. Of course she's stuck now, and even worse she's wet and he keeps spraying her with the water. He's going to be sorry.
05. Lessons are hard to learn. Emotions make them even harder to remember, and maybe if she had taken a moment just to calm herself she wouldn't have just run all that energy through her own body. "Stings like a bitch doesn't it."
06. It's all coming at her at once, and maybe it's supposed to be like this but she's never understood quite how to deal with this sort of information. Should she believe it to be fact, or some twisted version of the truth? Maybe it's what her father wants her to hear... maybe it's some sort of a test. Maybe Noah was supposed to lie to her, tell her things that could never be true to see if her father could still trust her... still believe in her. But it still just feels... like the truth to her.
07. By now she's realizing her father might not be the best person for the job of raising her. Distant. Maybe that's the word she's looking for, but instead she's landed on distrusting. Distrusting and perhaps cold. Standing there listening to his words drop from his mouth to the paper he's staring at. He can't even speak to her, it's more just around her... in her presence.
08. She's taken the blame before. It gets a bit easier each time it gets pushed off onto her. She just never expected the outcome to be so drastic. For her to be told she can't prove herself better than what she's already done. That the sum of her mistakes has added up to something that can't be fixed. She can't handle not being able to fix it, to make it right for him. He should let her fix it.
09. She wishes she was a better daughter. A better daughter would have made him proud. She wouldn't have failed him, and she really wouldn't have made so many mistakes.
10. Deep down the lie hurts more than the truth that he left. Deep down the way he said one thing and ended up doing the opposite cuts into her and leaves a mark that not anyone would ever heal. Deep down the lie means that she can't excuse herself from hating him. Deep down the lie makes it all okay again.